You might be a competitive sailor if

[TravisJ]

Someone posted this to our club mailing list, lol:

If you find yourself shouting "no water!" at roundabouts...

You luff people passing to weather on the interstate

Whilst over Beer after the race, the ketchup bottle is the mark, the Salt shaker is the boat on starboard, and the Pepper shaker is the boat on port

you change lanes close to other cars but don't worry because there isn't a overlap!

You complain that your rental car has serious lee helm

If you yell 'Starboard' and barge through a four way stop...

If you have extra winch handle pockets installed to hold beer bottles...

If you have a RED WOOL Tell -Tail on your car antenna and you look at it more than the road.

If your protest flag is spring loaded to pop from your car aerial when someone cuts you off.

If you spend hours thinking about how to covert your car from a wheel to tiller

One entire room in your house is dedicated to storing sails.... in a 3 bedroom house.

The bathroom is only cleaned when sails need to be dried in there after a long weekend.

The dogs bed is covered in better sail than most cruisers use on their boats but it is to blown out for racing.

The shower curtain is what is left of an exploded spinnaker.

You have a shelf in the living room filled with trophies and broken boat parts, and the broken parts are the better stories.

When inebriated and for no apparent reason shout "Blow the Guy"

You barge through a left turn while at 4 way stop, saying I will leebow that I'm vulgar.

Your boat is in the garage under a cover but your wife's car is outside in the rain.

you automatically convert mph into knots.

You call "Ready about?!" and then "TACKING!!" when approaching an intersection in your car...

Your car is in the garage, but you can't get it out because the sails are drying out on top of it.

You use dyneema loops and Tylaska clips instead of handcuffs.

you have a serious discussion with the girl pole dancing at your local strip club about joining your crew as bowman

you use toy boats to show you wife the correct way to round gate marks whilst she's in the bath.

Your boat trailer has better tires than your wife's car.

the cushions from the boat are the used for the furniture in your house..................

your Sunday Go To Meetin' wardrobe is slacks, jacket, tie, topsiders, and a regatta T-shirt...............

when you have a different Mt. Gay Regatta hat for every occasion....

you move all the furniture out of the front hall to measure and check the main before sending it to the sailmaker...... then you can't remember where the furniture went

you get yelled at because the head of the main scratched the paino, while it was in the hall

You own 4 boats and still find yourself endlessly checking ads for boats.

Your everyday footwear is a pair of sailing shoes that can't be used on the boat anymore.

Everything in your garage or basement is hanging from obsolete blocks, shackles and lines.

When you do go out to day sail you have to catch another boat because they are there.

Your offshore oilskins are the most expensive bits of clothing you own.

Your dogs leash is an old halyard, with the 25 dollar snap shackle still on it.

You have resin on the floor in more than one room of the house.

You don't take vacation time during the holidays to spend with family because all your vacation time has to be saved for racing season.

You tell a friend that you won't be at his wedding because it conflicts with a regatta.

Your girlfriend/fiance realizes that she has to plan your all's wedding around regatta season... and she is okay with that.

When getting hired on at a new job you feel obligated to inform them about Wednesday nights and that during the summer you will be taking off most fridays for travelling to regattas.

You mow your dry slip at the club more often than your yard because you care what the club members think but not your neighbors.

You critique sail trim in movies.

If it is raining on Halloween you take the kids trick or treating in full offshore foulies, complete with life jacket and tell everyone you are dressed as a sailor, while your kids get soaked and freeze in their cheap plastiky costumes

Your foredeck/girlfriend has been asked if she needs to talk to someone (about domestic violence) because of all the bruises caused by the boat.

Your family knows not to call you on Wednesday nights.

Your coworkers have stopped asking why you are in a good mood, they know it will be related to sailing and they won't understand.

You tell people you are going to a NOOD regatta and they ask where you found a Nude beach around here.

You have a Shackle on the key chain, next to the bottle opener.

You've paid $74 dollars for shorts to wear for 6 hours on saturday but think twice about spending $60 on pants to wear to work every day of the week.

Nobody knows where the anchor is on the boat.

You retie all of your friend's knots because they did them wrong.

You've called in sick on Monday and Tuesday then returned to work Wed sunburned with raccoon eyes.

You have a 100 dollar pair of boat shoes that never touch the ground off the boat, but your tennis shoes you wear on a daily basis are $15 dollar walmart brand.

You tell your crew to date a fat girl so on heavy air days she can come along to be rail meat.

You tell your girlfriend "it is okay that you have put on a few pounds, it is spring and we typically have really heavy air this time of year...."


Your boat is worth more then your car...

When you have 20 hours to do a transport but don't have 10 minutes to cut the grass.

You come prepared to regattas with electrical tape hoping to edit some competitions boat names.

There is a bag in your car with sail tape, vectran, Gerber, and foulies....all year round.

You have a J24 and a Melges Ornament.

Your office knows the name of all your crewmates and will get you out of meetings when they call.

you have picked up someone at the train station or airport towing a sailboat on a trailer.

[EmergencyExit]

One entire room in your house is dedicated to storing sails.... in a 3 bedroom house.
.

In the sunroom at my house is;

A jib and main for a Coronado 15

A jib, main and spinnaker for a Rhodes Bantam

2 gennys and a main for a Chrylser C26.

A jib for a Laser 2

A main and a genny for the Cal 21.

[Bhacurly]

Some I busted a gut at.... others I had no clue what they were sayin

[EmergencyExit]

Of course I'm not a racer just a pack rat..passed that list on to my racing buddies tho, great list..

[Potomac Fever]

You tell your crew to date a fat girl so on heavy air days she can come along to be rail meat.

Rail meat - too funny! Not going to forget that mental image ...or the expression.

[lecker68]

Hey I have some chunky friends and they had that idea but the air was not up to it so had to get them back in the cockpit as I had a reverse heel I guess you would call it.